


Baby you're a Firework

by LeFay_Strent



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, logicality - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 19:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19482190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeFay_Strent/pseuds/LeFay_Strent
Summary: “Patton is MY best friend!” you screamed, and then you looked to me with those eyes.How else was I supposed to react other than to tell you that we would be together forever?





	Baby you're a Firework

Remember that time in fifth grade when I said I would marry you?

Roman never could leave you alone for long. Unsurprisingly, he wanted to ruffle your feathers by claiming he would steal me away from you by marrying me. Of all the things he could say, I didn’t expect this to get a rise out of you more than an eye roll and calling him an ‘idiot’ like usual.

But you didn’t just roll your eyes, did you? There was fire burning there. Angry and hurt. I doubt you yelled back in a jealous rage because you wanted to make me your own husband. More than anything you wouldn't let someone take me from your side without a fight.

In those days you always acted like I was an annoyance. Too childish and too distracting. Heh, you still do all these years later. It made me wonder sometimes— seriously wonder if I was nothing but a nuisance to you or if I brought you some inkling of happiness with our companionship.

So imagine my surprise when you turned on Roman so fast that the poor kiddo never saw the punch coming. Face reddened, eyes blazing from angry tears, fists clenched tight at your sides as your shoulders hiked up, your voice high and boisterous for the world to hear— you shouted those words that cemented our friendship.

"Patton is MY best friend! MINE! I won't let you take him away, jerk face!"

Roman should have seen your blow up coming from a mile away. In fact, he'd been prepared to get a reaction out of you. But neither he nor I had expected you to make such a passionate declaration.

Before I came along that fated day in third grade, you'd resigned yourself to solitude, believing that no one wanted to be around you. I have to be honest, you were a prickly thing, always quick to fluster, but that made your rare smiles shine all the brighter. I felt an immediate draw while others were reluctant to deal with you. They'd avoid you or ridicule you, and it breaks my heart to know that you listened. To know that's when you let yourself believe that you were destined to be socially isolated, never to know the joy of having a friend who wanted to spend time with you regardless of your rigid exterior.

I never really thought about it in those days, and apparently neither had Roman; otherwise, I think even he would have backed away from such sore a subject as your one and only friend. The thought of losing that connection, that one real friendship that you'd somehow fallen into— it hurt something deep inside you to hear it threatened. As young as I was, (and though I couldn't put words to describe it) I instinctively knew the origins of the fear in those bright blue eyes when they turned to beg me for confirmation.

“Patton is MY best friend!” you screamed, and then you looked to _me_ with those eyes.

How else was I supposed to react other than to tell you that we would be together forever?

"I'll marry you then, Logan," I declared with such easy confidence. Your shocked expression only spurred me onwards with a grin. "That way you're stuck with me for life!"

Yes, I knew the full implications of marriage even in fifth grade. No, I never once thought it would end up happening. Over the years, no matter how many times I proclaimed us engaged, I had no intention to get hitched with you.

I did however earnestly mean to remain by your side for as long as humanly possible, my love for you as a friend encouraging me to stay tied to you, and that was the message that I hoped to get across to you by making such a silly statement. You never believed it either and would roll your eyes every time I brought it up. But whenever the notion of me moving on from you came up in conversation, that sweet smile of yours would make its grand appearance when I'd respond, "What are you talking about? I'm going to marry you and we'll stay together forever!" I know it made you happy to hear that I had no want to abandon you. It made me happy too, to see the muted joy on your face as your cheeks flamed. As long as we continued on like that, I was content.

Never once did I think I'd love you as anything more than my dearest friend.

Not until many years after our first meeting did I understand my heart's true desire.

On the day it happened, the dusk had come and gone, the fireworks coming out to play. Crowds gathered to watch the spectacle in celebration and I was more than willing to partake in the festivities with you. Our gazes skyward, we watched the lights dance across a dark blue canvas. They were wonderful and had everyone awestruck, myself included. A particular explosion brought a statement to my lips, so I turned to speak to you.

To this day, I can’t recall for the life of me what I intended to tell you. Whatever it was, the words died before my tongue could give them life. Here I had believed that the fireworks were as good a show as one could get. I was incredibly wrong. I know it’s cliché, but the fireworks paled in comparison to the wonder that stood right beside me. 

There you were, standing quietly, head tilted back to take in the colorful explosions. Usually, you walk around with this little frown on your face and your eyebrows creased as if your mind runs constant puzzles you just have to figure out.

Tonight you wore the most precious smile. Your lips angled upward subtly, yet somehow the small gesture spoke volumes to me. I had the abrupt urge to reach out and hold that smile close, to preserve it and keep it safe for all eternity. I wanted to run my fingertips over them and trace them across pale skin. The fireworks' colors, unable to remain in the sky, swam across the planes of your face and neck. My eyes couldn't tear away from the attractive sight, and as I watched the flashes of reds, blues, purples, and gold illuminate you, my heart ached with something as powerful as it was unfathomable. It was a curious feeling, one that took me several moments to understand.

And then I saw your eyes. 

They'd always been gorgeous, and I never let a chance slip away to tell you so. I didn't think anything could enhance their beauty. Again, I was incredibly wrong.

The lights sparked in luminous bursts of electricity within those azure orbs. It's true; the reflection of the fireworks within your eyes was a sight to behold, but something more than the prettiness of them prevented my breath from escaping me. It was the emotion I found in their depths, the way your eyelids hovered at half-mast in happiness, the soul within unclouded windows . . .

It was those things that brought a sharp pain of need to my chest. It would have seriously worried me, had I not realized that my pain was not due to anything physical, no matter how much it seemed to physically affect me.

I don't know why it happened all of a sudden; why in that moment—despite all the numerous other times I'd glanced your way—that this image of you affected me so deeply that it shook me to the very core. I'd always felt warm around you, but this suffocating heat was ridiculous. And my skin had certainly never tingled in such pleasant nervousness. No, no I'd never felt anything to this sort of extreme, yet I knew without a shred of doubt what this coiling warmth in my chest meant.

I love you.

Maybe the feelings had bloomed long ago and I only now recognized them. Maybe my heart just decided in that moment to beat for you. I honestly don't know. All I know is that I love you, Logan Sanders. I love you with such passion and intensity and devotion that it scares me more than I could ever tell you.

But what if . . . what if I did tell you? What would you say? Would you roll your eyes like when I say something silly? Or perhaps you'd be surprised, but would take me seriously. Maybe you'd let me down gently and ask to go on as we always have. Like I said, I'd be content with that, as long as I could stay with you. But what if I laid my love out there for you to see and you rejected it so completely? Would it mean throwing away years of loyalty and good times and smiles? Would you walk away from that?

If I told you that I loved you . . . would you walk away from me?


End file.
